To Love Someone Who Doesn't Exist
by seraskinwalker
Summary: This isn't really a fanfiction piece, but more a dedication to my favorite fictional character of all time. It's a short AU story about my long-lived obsession with and love for Professor R. J. Lupin.


Author's Note: This isn't really a fanfiction piece, but more a dedication to my favorite fictional character of all time. It's a short AU story about my long-lived obsession with and love for Professor R. J. Lupin.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, obviously. :P

Ever since I first read of him, I knew it. There wasn't a shadow of a doubt in my mind. Remus Lupin was my soulmate. I'd loved werewolves since I first discovered the creatures, and devoted almost every waking moment to sketching them, writing about them, just trying to capture the beast held within the calmest of men. I'd always felt it inside me, and in dear old Professor Lupin I'd found someone who shared this affliction, this curse, and this glory. We were both silent people: calm, collected, and not easily angered. Social outcasts from the beginning, thankful for the friends we had and determined never to jeopardize that friendship, no matter what it took. I guess in a way it's a curse of its own, sensitivity. You get walked on enough and it turns you into a different person, deep inside. And while I didn't yet sprout hair and fangs every full moon, I'd always felt the monster stir inside me.

So I met him. The date was July 4th, 1997, and I took my seat at the only vacant table in the Café Paradise, 15 minutes before Remus was scheduled to arrive. In contrast with it's name, the Café Paradise didn't resemble paradise at all, more so a giant hole in the wall. But it would do. I smiled to myself and checked my watch, barely able to contain both my excitement and my nerves. I busied myself reading the newspaper clippings that had been glued to the wall, and was halfway through a fascinating summary of the corn harvest in 1972 when I heard footsteps approaching my table. Oh god, I thought, even the way he walks reflects that beast inside of him, if you listen hard enough. I quickly looked down at my lap, pretending to be picking the lint off my dress, and soon enough he was there. I looked up at him, a generous smile upon his face that belied his prematurely aged features. He extended a hand to me, and in a voice that was unmistakably one of a caring yet tortured man, said "You must be V, it's a great pleasure to meet you," A great pleasure? To meet.… me? I did my best not to fall off my chair, and giving him a smile that I was sure gave away my how much of an idiot I really was, grasped his hand. It was a strong grip, but not too forceful, just enough to be comforting. "And you," I replied, unable to pull my gaze away from his amber eyes. In contrast to the rest of his appearance, the dark shadows under his eyes, a scar reaching down his left cheek bone, light brown hair streaked with grey and in dire need of a trim, his eyes were alive and full of fire. He pulled back his chair and sat down, still smiling. I noticed his robes were torn in several places and he was extremely skinny. Poor fellow, the full moon had been only three nights ago.

"Drinks are on me," I announced, handing him one of the menus the waitress had left on the table. He put up a hand and opened his mouth to protest, but I insisted. "You know I've wanted to meet you for quite some time now, let me," He smiled sheepishly. I could tell he was a bit relieved. "Thank you," he said, in such a voice I could tell he truly meant it. "I've been looking forward to meeting you as well, from what I've heard you're quite interested in werewolf rights… have you heard about the new petition the ministry's put together for the outlawing werewolves in public work situations?" Soon we were lost in conversation, discussing everything from the Minister of Magic to Remus's own Hogwarts days. He was extremely easy to talk to, and I could tell he genuinely listened and considered everything I said.

Soon the waitress arrived at our table, armed with a notepad and pencil. "What can I get you, dear?" she asked me. "Just some coffee, thanks… and some hot chocolate for my friend." The waitress raised her eyebrow at me questioningly before stalking off. "She doesn't seem too happy." I remarked, and Remus chuckled. Soon we were once again deep in conversation, enjoying both our drinks and each other's company. "You know, you're really easy to talk to," I admitted to him. I realized that as nervous as I had been in the days leading up to our rendezvous, I felt completely at ease. Before I knew it I was telling him how much I admired him, and how much I related to him in everything he had gone through. I could tell the praise was making him slightly uncomfortable, but by the time I had finished he was smiling again.

A while later I glanced at the clock and realized we'd been talking for almost two and a half hours. I was astounded; the time had passed by so quickly. I think I now understood the glares and strange looks our waitress had been giving me. I quickly called her over and payed the check.

"You know, it's been really nice talking to you today. We should definitely do it again; we have a lot in common." I could have died as Remus said those words to me, and it was all I could do not to attack him with affection. I just wanted to take him home and give him a warm place in my bed, make him some soup. I'd even sleep on the floor. We stood up and walked out of the café together, and once we reached the street we embraced. This was more than I could have hoped for, I could have screamed with joy. He smelled like the deep forest and his eyes were alight as ever when we broke apart. "Give me a call anytime," I told him. What I was really saying was something along the lines of "Oh god I love you and I'd do anything for you please come home with me I'll treat you like a king and worship at your feet for the rest of my days," He seemed to sense this and his smile broadened. "You don't have to go home right away, you know. I was just thinking of visiting the library, I could use some company." I tried hard not to break into a million little pieces of happiness. "Sure, that'd be great!" I said, trying to keep the shake of excitement from my voice. I don't think it worked.

But it didn't matter, because at that instant, Remus Lupin, my soulmate and werewolf god, reached out and clasped my hand in his own, and together we set off into the sunset.

Meanwhile, back inside the restaurant, the waitress was looking out the window, watching the strange girl that had occupied her best booth, completely alone, for almost three hours. She sighed heavily as she watched her set off down the street, looking to the side as if talking to an imaginary lover, hand held out as though she was gripping someone else's. "Kids these days… you never know what kind of drugs they're on,"

And that, my friends, is what it's like to be in love with a fictional character.


End file.
